


The Test

by RocknVaughn



Category: Alias (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Blow Jobs, Exhibitionism, F/M, Forced Prostitution, Light Angst, Masturbation, Mission Fic, Missions Gone Wrong, Oral Sex, Public Sex, Season/Series 03, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-12
Updated: 2014-09-12
Packaged: 2018-02-17 02:00:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2292755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RocknVaughn/pseuds/RocknVaughn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Season 3 AU. </p><p>Sydney is sent on a dangerous deep cover mission posing as an exotic dancer in a parlor that is one of the many fronts for the Covenant. But when the team learns that the club's owner Frederich has a reputation for taking out his temper on his girls in very disturbing ways, a worried Vaughn decides to go in after her. </p><p>But little does Vaughn know that the terms of Sydney's "employment" have changed. The club doesn't actually employ dancers; the girls are really high priced prostitutes. And the only way that Sydney can prove she belongs is to have sex...with Vaughn...while Frederich watches.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Test

**Author's Note:**

> This is a repost of an old story I had originally posted on SD-1.net in Nov./Dec. 2003, but since that site is not accessible to most people anymore, I decided to re-archive it here. It's basically unchanged from the original with the exception of a word or two here or there. (Seeing as I wrote this eleven years ago, I'm almost afraid to beta it at this point!)
> 
> This was basically my first ever NC-17 story and, believe it or not, actually has some plot, too!
> 
> If you've read this before, I hope you enjoy this trip down memory lane, and for newbies finding this fic for the first time, I hope you like it! <3
> 
> *Voted Best NC-17 and Best Mission, as well as 2nd in the Mid-Length story category in the 2004 Alias Festival of Fiction*

~ ~ ~  
  
 _MUNICH, GERMANY_  
  
  
Inside _Frederichs Tanzwohnzimmer_   _exotisches_ (Frederich’s Exotic Dance Parlor), Michael Vaughn sat watching the latest dancer performing to his right with a disinterested air. The buxom blonde wiggled her ample bosom at him, where he was seated in the front row by the stage, but pouted and went elsewhere when she got not even a flicker of response from him. Vaughn sighed, checking his watch for about the 17th time since he’d arrived at the club, wondering when he would see her. He wasn’t here to enjoy the show; he was here as Sydney’s backup, should she need it. Not that she was even aware she had…or _needed_ backup…yet.  
  
Three days ago, Sydney had left Los Angeles for this mission solo. Her task was to integrate herself into the troupe of exotic dancers in this club, which was owned by a Mr. Hans Frederich. Frederich’s club was reputed to be one of the many front companies used by the Covenant. English speaking dancers were highly prized in his club, since it catered not only to the locals, but also to many American soldiers stationed in the area.  
  
Current intel indicated that Frederich kept a disc in the safe of his office that held key data about the members and the makeup of the Covenant; information that the CIA badly needed. It was determined, therefore, that Sydney would go in deep cover as a dancer, win Frederich’s trust, and then gain access to his office to steal the disc.  
  
However, since Sydney’s departure, the CIA received additional information regarding Mr. Frederich; news that he had a violent temper, and often took that fury out on his ‘girls’…in very sick and perverted ways.  
  
And so, with Dixon’s hearty approval, Vaughn had immediately volunteered to go in to warn Sydney and to provide backup and protection. He was grateful for the fact that the details of this mission had been compartmentalized; because he didn’t relish the thought of explaining to Lauren exactly what type of establishment he would be accompanying Sydney to.  
  
According to Sydney’s dead-dropped intel, she had been able to convince Frederich to employ her and tonight was to be her debut. But as the night wore on and there was still no trace of Sydney anywhere, Vaughn began to worry that maybe something had gone wrong, that he’d been too late to save her.  
  
Turning his eyes back to the buxom blonde, he saw that she was currently involved in a lap dance with a young man with very short hair, more than likely an American GI. As he watched, the man stuffed several bills into the waistband of her G-string. In response, the woman stood and pulled the man to a stand, heading off toward the back of the room. It was common practice in clubs such as this that men could pay to use a private room to have a private lap dance all to themselves, so Vaughn was not at all shocked at seeing the duo leave.  
  
Turning a bored eye back to the main stage, he spied the emcee, who announced, “And now, for our newest addition to Frederich’s…Please welcome Ms. Candi Striper!”  
  
A voluptuous brunette wearing the skimpiest candy striper outfit he’d ever seen shimmied her way out on the stage, grabbing the metal pole and caressing it sensually. Vaughn stared at the woman, entranced, as she took off her prim white cap and tossed it out into the field of whistling and hooting men, her hair cascading down onto her shoulders. _Oh God…It’s Sydney_ … Vaughn swallowed twice…hard…and tried to remember to breathe. God, seeing her with that sensual look in her eyes and the playful expression on her face—even if they _were_ for show—brought back memories that he knew, in his current situation—namely being married to someone _else_ —would be better off left buried.  
  
However, based on the flush he felt creeping up his face, it appeared his body didn’t agree.  
  
As “Candi” unzipped the top of her dress to reveal the naughty black and red lace wisp of bra underneath and ran her fingers slowly down the center of her chest, down into the vee of her breasts created by the bra, Vaughn couldn’t block out the memory of seeing Sydney clad in bras like that, except that _he’d_ been the one touching her that way. Indeed, he could practically _feel_ her heated skin beneath his fingertips.  
  
Unzipping the rest of her dress, “Candi” let it slide slowly down her long, bare legs to pool around her red high heels. Stepping out of it gracefully, she lay down on the stage and felinely crawled to the end, her bare buttocks undulating up and down sensuously as she went.  
  
Vaughn tried to close his eyes, to block out this highly erotic sight of Sydney crawling right toward him, clad in nothing but the skimpy black and red lace push up bra and matching barely there G-string, along with those red high heels…but he couldn’t seem to help himself. He stared at her hungrily, as every other pair of male eyes in the room must have been doing. Yet, unlike them, he alone actually _knew_ what it was like to _be_ with this woman…to hear her moans and feel her quake beneath him as he found his own release…  
  
Squirming in his seat restlessly, Vaughn prayed that Sydney would notice him soon. He didn’t know how much more of this torture he could take. Suddenly, slowly, ever so slowly, she turned her head, almost as if she could feel his heated gaze upon her. He tried desperately to hide his growing feelings of lust from her, wanting to give off the appearance of being impassive and professional. However, he could tell by the way her eyes darkened a shade or two and began to glisten dangerously that he hadn’t completely succeeded.  
  
Slowly, Sydney undulated down the stairs and sidled up close to a few men, allowing them the briefest of touches as they placed their Euros in her G-string. She swayed suggestively to the music, inching ever closer to him. Finally, she stood before him, her most alluring smile on her face. As if entranced, Vaughn raised his hand, and placed a couple of bills into her waistband. Licking her lips seductively, Sydney threw a leg over Vaughn’s and sat on his lap, running her fingers through his hair before pulling his head toward her, pressing his face into her chest.  
  
Vaughn sucked in a deep breath in response to her touch and instantly was assailed by the smell that was uniquely her. He tried to stifle a groan and wasn’t completely successful, his breath leaving him in a rush to splay against Sydney’s soft skin.  
  
Sydney sat upon Vaughn’s lap now, rubbing herself against him, lap dancing to the beat of the pounding music…or was that the pounding of Vaughn’s beating heart? Vaughn couldn’t tell. From what seemed to be afar, he felt Sydney’s hot breath against his ear as she whispered to him in a voice that he could _swear_ sounded relieved, “Vaughn! What are you doing here?”  
  
Vaughn’s Adam’s Apple bobbed up and down as he tried to remember how to make his jaw move and form words. Right now, he was having a difficult time taking his attention from Sydney’s weight pressed into his lap and his face pressed against her breasts. “Frederich…” he gasped. “…he’s…twisted…likes to…hurt his women…Dixon thought you could use…” Vaughn’s breath hitched as she grasped both his hands and let them slide up her front and over her breasts, putting on a show for the other patrons. “…backup…” he mouthed, trapped in her gaze and in the vortex of the desire he was desperately trying to deny.  
  
“I’m glad you’re here. We need to talk,” Sydney told him abruptly, her breath a caress to his ear. “Put a few more Euros in my waistband…”  
  
Almost reluctantly, he pulled his left hand away from Sydney’s chest and deposited a small wad of cash in the lip of her waistband. Smiling triumphantly, she took the money he’d deposited, and slid it up her body and tucked it in the cleavage between her breasts. Then she slid off Vaughn’s lap to a stand, and then crooked her finger to him, beckoning him to her.  
  
On decidedly shaky legs, Vaughn got up and grasped her hand, letting her lead him away to the back of the room in his haze of emotion and desire. _At least no one here will suspect I’m anything other than another one of her lusting fans…_ he thought as Sydney led him through a doorway and then down a narrow set of stairs.  
  
 _Damn it, get a grip, Vaughn!_ he cursed himself. _Get your head into the game! She needs a **partner** right now, not a drooling groupie!_ But somehow, everything he said to himself sounded as if it had a sexual connotation to it, which was definitely _not_ helping his rather cramped, uncomfortable situation.  
  
Sydney pulled him into a black, round room, closing the door behind them. The only items in the room were a straight-backed wooden chair and a rectangular table, both spray-painted black. Backing Vaughn up so that his legs collided with the table, Sydney pressed herself against him from head to toe.  
  
His pulse jumped at the unexpected contact. Vaughn, shaken and appalled at his immediate reaction to her, gasped, “My God, Sydney…what are you doing!?”  
  
Nipping at Vaughn’s ear, Sydney replied sternly, “Shhh…keep your voice down! They’ll hear you!”  
  
As Sydney continued to nibble at Vaughn’s ear, he asked, “What are you talking about? Who’s they?”  
  
Moving her head to caress Vaughn’s other ear, she answered, “Frederich and his cronies. You were right when you said he was sick, Vaughn… I didn’t find out until after the last dead-drop; the girls here don’t just _dance_ … They’re high-priced hookers.”  
  
“What!?” Vaughn gaped, aghast.  
  
“Yes,” Sydney continued. “And moreover, Frederich refused to take me on permanently until I’d _proven_ myself to him…”  
  
Vaughn felt his blood boiling with anger even as his unwanted desire from Sydney’s touch continued to spiral. “That bastard!” he spat in a harsh whisper.  
  
“No …” Sydney sighed, her eyes colliding with his. The jumble of emotions he found there knocked the wind out of him: love, respect, sorrow, and regret were all intermingled. “I’m so sorry, Vaughn. I wish I could have warned you, but..." She sighed heavily and then explained, " _This_ is my test… _You’re_ my test. I have to prove I can be one of them…with you…while he watches.”

 _Oh, God…_ Vaughn thought desperately as Sydney trailed two fingers leisurely down his chest to finger his belt buckle. He swallowed hard. This _had_ to be some kind of cruel dream…a cruel _wet_ dream he was sure he was about to wake from…  
  
As Sydney scattered kisses along his collarbone, making him shiver, he croaked, “C’mon Syd…you’re joking, right?”  
  
The briefest of glances from Sydney answered his question. “I only _wish_ I were…” she replied quietly, fingering the top button of his black button down shirt.  
  
Vaughn’s breath hitched and his pulse beat erratically as Sydney unbuttoned the top button and placed whispering kisses on the flesh she'd exposed. “Syd…” he breathed, the one word communicating all he was thinking: That there must be another way, that he didn’t know if he could do this, pretend this way, and _especially_ not with her…  
  
Sydney shook her head so slightly, he could only tell by the brush of her hair against his skin as her tongue drew a wet trail along the vee of skin on his chest. “I’m in too deep, Vaughn. I’m too close. If I can’t do this…If I can’t prove I belong here…Frederich won’t hesitate to kill me…or worse. You know that.”  
  
Vaughn closed his eyes, partly in denial of the situation, and partly because her ministrations were starting to make him feel lightheaded. He placed a hand on the table behind him for support, but the other hand snaked around Sydney’s waist in an instinctual need to protect her.  
  
“I know what a mess all this is,” Sydney continued in barely a whisper, as she slowly slid her hand down his chest to tug at where his shirt lapels were tucked in, loosening them. “But, Vaughn, this was going to happen tonight with _someone_. It was too late to turn back. You _know_ how important this intel is to the CIA…and to me. I might finally be able to learn what it is the Covenant wants from me…” She looked up at him, her heart in her eyes, pleading with him to understand. He stared at her, stunned, with an almost deer-in-the-headlights expression.  
  
Afraid that his shock might give them away, she hissed, “Vaughn, you’re supposed to be enjoying this…moan or something, would ya?” She grasped the hand he had wrapped around her waist and pulled it up between them, singling out his index finger and suckling on it.  
  
The erotic combination of feeling the moist pressure on his finger and watching the woman who was doing it was more than Vaughn could take. This always drove him crazy…this tease, this promise of her lips kissing other, more urgent parts of him…and Sydney knew it. His eyes closed briefly and a low moan escaped his parted lips.  
  
She let his finger slip from between her lips and then she leaned toward him and nibbled at his ear again. “If I had to do this, then can you blame me for wanting it to be with someone I trust? Or would you rather it have been with one of _them_!?” Sydney tossed her head backward slightly to indicate the teeming mass of hormonal men she’d left upstairs.  
  
“ _No_ ,” he immediately growled in reply. Call him overprotective and possessive, but he didn’t even want to _think_ about another man touching her. Sydney was _his_.  
  
Shaking his head, he realized what he’d just thought, and it disturbed him. Sydney was _not_ his…not anymore…but yet, he couldn’t stop himself from _feeling_ like she was. And…oh God…how was he going to explain _this_ mission to his wife!?  
  
“So, tell me Vaughn…are you in?” Sydney whispered and then pulled her head back to stare at him intently.  
  
Time seemed to stop in that moment as their gazes connected. Vaughn knew that if he went through with this, it might very well cost him his marriage…even if Lauren never found out what transpired this evening. He knew it because, since Sydney had come back from the dead, the emotions and feelings he’d thought had died with her had resurfaced with a vengeance. And while he loved Lauren, the love they shared paled in comparison to this…this overwhelming _connection_ he felt to Sydney. He knew that over these last few weeks, he’d only been hanging on by a thread, using his denial to shield him from the truth…that he was still desperately in love with Sydney Bristow. Somehow he knew that some point tonight would be his downfall; that once the dam had broke, there would be no stopping wave upon relentless wave of emotions from crashing upon him; and it terrified him.  
  
And yet, Sydney was in desperate trouble. She was, for once, in over her head and she needed his help. She’d had a choice only in choosing him over a stranger, and he couldn’t blame her for using him as her safety net, because it would _kill_ him to know she’d had to give herself to someone else for the sake of this mission. When it came down to it, Vaughn knew there was no real choice; if it was a choice between aiding Sydney complete the mission and not aiding her, he would _always_ choose to help her, to protect her, no matter the personal cost.  
  
Vaughn buried his face in her neck for a long moment, just breathing in the soothing, yet exciting scent of her. Finally, he pulled back to look her in the eye again…and nodded.  
  
Overwhelming relief washed across Sydney’s face for a split second before she schooled her features back to one of the temptress she was supposed to be. Sliding both hands down Vaughn’s chest, she allowed one hand to graze the front of his pants before stepping backward, putting space between them.  
  
“Well,” drawled Sydney in a honeyed voice, “before we get more _acquainted_ …” Sydney stared pointedly at Vaughn’s crotch, and then continued, “I thought maybe we could introduce ourselves…”  
  
Vaughn could feel Sydney’s burning gaze upon him, which only magnified the issue. His situation was rapidly becoming painful. Trying to pretend at this point that she didn’t completely affect him would be pointless, since she’d just felt the evidence to the contrary herself.  
  
Clearing his throat, he answered huskily, “My name is Vaughn Tyler.”  
  
Sydney lifted her eyes and smiled knowingly. With a slight southern drawl, she said, “Well, Mr. Tyler, I do declare that is one _sexy_ name you’ve got! My name is Candi, but I’ll answer to whatever you like best. What’s _your_ favorite name, Mr. Tyler?”  
  
“Vaughn,” Vaughn corrected her. “Call me Vaughn.”  
  
“All right…Vaughn…” Sydney said, as if testing out his name to see how it sounded. “And who do you want _me_ to be?”  
  
Vaughn leaned forward and placed a hand on either hip, pulling Sydney closer to him. “Sydney,” he ground out, his eyes gleaming dangerously. “I want you to be Sydney.”  
  
Sydney’s eyes met Vaughn’s and she nearly gasped at the feral, completely territorial look she found there. She hadn’t seen him look at her that way since…since _before_. Forcing herself back into character, she tapped his hands as if playfully scolding him and stepped out of his embrace. “Now, now, Mr… _Vaughn_ …I don’t mind playing that game, but there _is_ a little matter that we need to address first?”  
  
Sydney removed the little wad of cash that she’d stuffed inside her bra, as well as the stray bills along her waistline. Holding her hand out, she teased, “Care to make a donation to the Candi Striper’s fund? Trust me when I say that the _benefits_ of membership are _more_ than worth the price of admission…”  
  
Vaughn pulled a large wad of cash from his back pocket and peeled off several bills, enough to make his payment appear very generous, and placed them in her outstretched hand. “I’m sure they are…” he responded, trying to mimic the same playful tone Sydney had just used.  
  
Sydney’s eyebrows raised at the amount of money Vaughn had given her. “Well, I must say that your confidence in my abilities is… _inspiring_ …”  
  
“I’ve got a feeling that you’re worth that and much more…” Vaughn responded, his voice gravelly from barely contained desire.  
  
Sydney closed the gap between them and ran her hand over the bulge in his pants once more, then brushed back over it with her knuckles when she elicited a groan from him. “I’d say you do…” she laughed, and then sauntered across the room, pulled out a concealed drawer in the wall, deposited the money into it and then slid it shut with a soft click.  
  
Vaughn’s breath slid out of him in hitching gasps. He closed his eyes briefly as Sydney sauntered away and placed a steadying hand on the table behind him again, dangerously close to losing it. He knew he needed to remain in character…that he needed to play the part of a man paying for sex, both for the mission and for his sanity, but still, he knew his control over his emotions and reactions was eroding fast.  
  
As if the idea of making love with Sydney again after all this time was not enough, the idea that she would play the part of a fantasy seductress in this charade, pushing him ever and ever closer to the edge while God knows who watched… Even his wildest _dreams_ couldn’t have prepared him for this. Vaughn leaned more heavily on the table, practically sitting his weight down on the edge; afraid his legs may not hold him upright much longer.  
  
Sydney strutted her way back to him, putting one high-heeled foot up on the edge of table so that she practically straddled his lap. This show of dexterity…and of what was so flimsily hidden beneath her G-string panty…gave Vaughn chills and he visibly shivered in response. In her most sexy bedroom voice, Sydney vowed, “I promise you… _Vaughn_ … you won’t be disappointed…”  
  
A wave of heat spread through him from the way Sydney said his name. There was only one time she _ever_ said his name that way…it had been _so_ long...  
  
Vaughn’s eyes were drawn to the juncture of her legs like a magnet, but then, that’s how his alter ego was supposed to react…wasn’t it? He was having a difficult time remembering anything at the moment. Ever so slowly his eyes raked up her body, pausing at the scar on her abdomen, and then up to her breasts, where her nipples were erect and straining against the lacy material. There was only one reason for what he was seeing, because she sure as heck _wasn’t_ cold…He sucked in a hissing gulp of air at this tangible proof that he wasn’t the only one affected by their closeness. His fingers itched to touch them, to stroke and tease them in ways he _knew_ that she loved…to make her feel as on the edge as he was, but he didn’t dare. _Not yet…_ he told himself, _not yet. It’s too soon…I have to let her seduce me…_  
  
His eyes continued their upward travel, up the soft, creamy skin of her graceful neck to her mouth—her pouty, delicious mouth—and then settling finally on her eyes. Staring into those chocolate brown depths, he felt the world beneath his feet tilt, he felt his head lean toward her as if pulled there by some mysterious force until they were whisper close. He licked his lips unconsciously; so did she. And then, unsure of which one of them actually closed the gap, their lips connected.  
  
Lights exploded behind Vaughn’s eyelids as the heady sensations swamped him. God, her mouth felt like heaven! No kiss had ever felt so good; so soft and firm and warm and gentle it made him want to sigh. But when he did, Sydney coyly slipped her tongue into his mouth, rubbing it down the length of his in a gesture meant to mimic another, much more intimate one.  
  
A low groan burst from Vaughn’s lips as Sydney removed her tongue and proceeded to suckle his bottom lip. He had to reach his other hand behind him to grip the table, just to prevent himself from losing control and ravishing her. He knew that Frederich and possibly others were watching their progress, and he tried desperately to let that thought affect him, tried to let that help him get his raging desire under wraps.  
  
But then Sydney leaned in closer, pressing the apex of her thighs directly against him, as she fingered the next button on Vaughn’s shirt. In response, Vaughn’s head collapsed into her shoulder, another rumbling moan rolling across her skin like thunder. Knowing they were being watched made no difference...he could not control his reaction to her touch. “Oh, God, Sydney…” he breathed, unable to stop himself from pressing whisper-soft kisses along her collarbone. “You’re killing me, do you know that?”  
  
Sydney’s fingers made quick work of the buttons down his front, even as goose bumps raised all down her forearms from the sensation of his hot breath on her neck. She removed her leg from the table to place it on the floor next to his foot, wedging his legs between hers. With the high heels on, she was at just the right height to keep herself pressed against him, although the change of position caused their bodies to rub against each other erotically. Vaughn moaned again in response. He lifted his head from her neck unsteadily as she slipped both hands inside the lapels of his shirt to smooth across his muscled chest, his eyes burning with barely-controlled desire.  
  
“But what a way to go, isn’t it, Vaughn?” she teased, slightly breathless herself, before lowering her head to press wet kisses on his hot skin.  
  
Vaughn’s fingers squeezed the table until his knuckles were white. “Syd, I’m not gonna be able to hold on much longer if you keep teasing me like this…” he hissed between clenched teeth.  
  
Sydney took a step backward, relieving the pressure she'd created against his thighs. “But, Vaughn…” she said in a too-innocent voice, “you _have_ to wait…If I let you come now…you’ll _never_ be getting your money’s worth…We wouldn’t want that, now would we?” She slid her hands up, pushing his shirt over his shoulders to let it slide down and pool at his wrists.  
  
Sydney let both hands slide down his bare chest until they reached the waistband of his pants. Slowly, she knelt down before him, her eyes never leaving his. She unhooked the buckle and pulled the belt ends apart, taking care to brush her hands lower as she did so.  
  
Vaughn’s jaw clenched and his eyes flickered shut briefly, overcome by the sensation that grazing touch caused. His eyes opened again when he realized she’d undone the button of his pants as well and was pausing with her fingers on the zipper pull. He stared down at Sydney, ensnared by her, caught in the tempest of his own needs, needs that at that moment, only _Sydney_ could assuage.  
  
“I can’t let you come until you’ve tasted _all_ my talents…” Sydney licked her lips suggestively and then fell silent as the hiss of his undone zipper echoed between them.  
  
There was absolutely no doubt in what was left of Vaughn’s logical mind what Sydney planned on doing to him next. And while he knew in his mind this shouldn’t be happening, that _none_ of this should be happening, nothing in heaven or on earth could have stopped him from uttering the one word that erupted from his lips…  
  
“Yes.”

As the word hung in the air between them, Michael Vaughn tried to convince himself that he’d only said it because it was what ‘Vaughn Tyler’ should have said at that moment…but he knew in his heart it was a lie. The bald truth was that, right or wrong, he not only _wanted_ her to continue touching him this way, but that he _craved_ it. Right or wrong, the ‘seduction’ that had started out a just a means to an end, just another mission to complete, had already become much, much more.  
  
Instead of constantly fighting to hide his feelings and his emotions for Sydney, now he not only had to allow himself to feel his attraction to her, but he had to allow her to, in essence, use that attraction against him. He tried to convince himself that he could handle it, that he could do this, play this part. But he hadn’t factored in just how incredible being near Sydney again actually was. He hadn’t realized that just her hot breath against his skin, her seductive voice, and the lightest touch would set him afire the way he felt now.  
  
Maybe it was because it had been so long since she last touched him…maybe it was the extra adrenaline flooding his veins from their precarious situation…maybe it was the forbidden nature of their task, or maybe it was just because it was _Sydney_ …Vaughn didn’t know. But what he _did_ know was that he was more turned on right now than he could ever remember being before in his life…and they’d barely gotten started.  
  
Sydney grasped the flaps of Vaughn’s open pants front and pulled them aside revealing his blue boxer shorts…and his erection straining against the soft cotton material. Vaughn could swear that Sydney’s eyes darkened visibly when she again met his eyes, but in a lilting voice, she teased, “Well, he certainly seems anxious to meet me…”  
  
As Sydney’s hand reached up and carefully stroked down the length of him through his underwear, Vaughn caught his bottom lip gently between his teeth, straining with his effort to keep himself in check. Sydney stood up and trailed one hand back up Vaughn’s chest as she cupped him fully in her other hand, softly massaging with her fingers, and leaned in to touch her tongue to the rim of his ear.  
  
Vaughn’s muscles tensed all across his back as he fought to tame the lust spreading like wildfire through him. Sydney immediately noticed and whispered, “Vaughn, what’s the matter?”  
  
In response, he ground out, “You told me I needed to wait, Syd…but you’re not making it easy to do that right now…”  
  
Sydney let out a little tinkling laugh and drawled, “Now, now, Mr. Tyler, don’t take what I said to heart! You’re supposed to _enjoy_ what I’m doing to you, _embrace_ it…not fight it!” And to emphasize her point, she massaged his bulge once again, eliciting a gasp and moan of raw pleasure from Vaughn’s lips.  
  
Vaughn swallowed hard. He didn’t want to have to admit his weakness, not now, not to her…but it seemed he had no choice. “Syd…” he whispered, more quietly now, “…this…you’re…affecting me…a _lot_. I’m trying…but I don’t think I can hold back anymore.”  
  
 _So **that’s** what he’s doing…_ Sydney thought to herself. _He’s still trying to protect me…_ She soothed his hair for a moment and placed a small, sweet kiss on his temple and then whispered for his ears only, “I understand you’re trying to protect me, but it’s okay to let go, Vaughn. It’s all right to lose control here. In fact, your loss of control is a _help_ to me in this case.”  
  
Vaughn shook his head slightly. She didn’t understand. This was more than just protection, more than playing a part. If he lost control, who knew what he might say or do to jeopardize their mission? “But…”  
  
Sydney, anticipating his argument, cut in, “It’s _my_ job to keep things under control. It’s _my_ job to make sure you get your money’s worth.” She paused with a smile and then said simply, “ _Trust_ me, Vaughn.”  
  
Vaughn hesitated and then nodded, letting out a deep breath he’d been holding.  
  
“Good then, Vaughn,” Sydney drawled, louder now for the benefit of Frederich, “Now, you just relax and follow my lead…and I’ll take you places you’ve never been…”  
  
Vaughn didn’t doubt that for a moment.  
  
Sydney pushed on Vaughn’s chest slightly, indicating he should lean more of his weight onto the table. As he complied, she knelt before him once again, sliding his pants down past his hips. Finding the slit in his boxer shorts, Sydney reached a finger inside and began to stroke the sensitive skin on the underside of his balls. Vaughn’s lips parted and his eyes slid closed, his breath coming in hitching gasps. Emboldened, Sydney slid a second finger inside the hole and started to rub up and down the length of his erection, eliciting another moan from Vaughn; this one deeper and more primal than the others.  
  
When Sydney stopped touching him and removed her fingers from inside his underwear, Vaughn’s eyes immediately opened in surprise and longing. When he stared down at her, she just smiled mischievously and then slid her fingers inside the waistband of his boxers, teasing the skin at his waist and hips before sliding the material down to fully expose him to her. Sydney looked up and their gazes collided; both of their faces filled with desire…and memories. Then, never breaking their eye contact, Sydney reached up, wrapped her hand around Vaughn’s penis and gently began to stroke.  
  
Vaughn’s pulse jumped and his heart began to pound. And still she was staring at him, staring right into his soul as she began to pleasure him. Regardless of the pretense, the look on Sydney’s face told him that no matter what, this was about more than just sex…that it could never _be_ just sex between them. And that realization only made the sensation of being touched by her ten times more arousing.  
  
Sucking in a shuddering breath, he swallowed hard, his Adam’s Apple bobbing. As Sydney slowly increased the tempo of her stroking, Vaughn moaned, “Oh God…Syd….”  
  
With a hint of a smile touching her lips, Sydney asked in a conversational tone, “If you don’t mind my asking… Who _is_ this ‘Sydney’ to you? Is it just a name you like or is it a real person to you?”  
  
And still she stroked him. At the moment, Vaughn wasn’t sure he remembered how to think at all, forget about carry on a two-sided conversation. All he could hear was blood rushing in his ears…all he could feel was her hand upon him. After what seemed like an eternity, he processed her question and answered on a sigh, “She’s real…”  
  
 _God, she’s more than real…_ Vaughn thought dreamily. He felt like he was floating…he wasn’t even sure if his feet were still touching the ground. It felt _so_ good. _She’s **so** much more than real…_  
  
With her other hand, Sydney cradled his scrotum, fondling it as she continued to stroke. Vaughn’s breath left him in a rush.  
  
“Who is she to you?” Sydney inquired.  
  
Not coherent enough to answer her and remain in character, he replied honestly, “Once upon a time, she was the love of my life…my soulmate.”  
  
Sydney realized that he’d unwittingly told her something he might never have were he in full control of his senses. It hurt, but it felt good, too…hearing him admit how much of an impact she’d had on his life. Her voice dropped in volume, so her response came out at almost a whisper, “And then what happened?”  
  
Vaughn closed his eyes, his sad memories at odds with the raw pleasure washing through him. “I lost her,” he admitted forlornly.  
  
Sydney’s touch grew gentler, more soothing, and more erotic. Her voice matched. “She sounds like a special lady…”  
  
Vaughn smiled softly. “Yes, she was. I miss her very much.” After a momentary pause, he seemed to recover himself somewhat, back to playing his character. “You…remind me of her. That’s why I had to have you.”  
  
Never stopping her ministrations, Sydney stood up, pressed her body against Vaughn’s and licked a spot on his neck that she knew excited him. “Really? Well, I’ll try to do her justice, then…”  
  
Vaughn gasped as his head fell back helplessly, allowing Sydney fuller access to his sensitive neck. “You’re doing…a wonderful job…already…” he panted.  
  
“Thank you,” she said, her tongue flicking along his collarbone. “I aim to please.”  
  
Laughter rumbled in Vaughn’s chest…until Sydney took that opportunity to squeeze both his balls and the head of his dick. Quickly his snickering dissolved into a heated groan.  
  
Now it was Sydney’s turn to chuckle. “That’s what I _thought_ you said…” Drawing a line with her tongue back to his neck and up to his ear, she whispered kisses down his jaw line and dipped the tip of her tongue in the cleft of his chin. She brushed her lips against his teasingly, and then pulled a hairsbreadth away from him. Aroused and aching, Vaughn no longer tried to fight his desire for Sydney; it felt too good and it had been too long. Eagerly, he breached the gap to capture her lips again in a scorching kiss.  
  
Sydney’s hand continued to move on him as she opened her mouth and allowed her tongue to duel with his. She synchronized her strokes with the strokes of her tongue, which made Vaughn whimper into her open mouth.  
  
“Would you like some of that?” Sydney asked, her voice all teasing and laughter.  
  
“Some of what?” Vaughn asked between kisses.  
  
“Some of _this_ …” Sydney replied, running her tongue slowly down the length of his as she mimicked that movement with her hand on his cock.  
  
“Mmmmm…” Vaughn mumbled, “Oh yeah…”  
  
In response, Sydney slowly licked a meandering path down Vaughn’s neck, across his chest, down the line to his stomach and around his bellybutton, dipping her tongue inside it once or twice and eliciting more moans from him. Her head dipped still lower. She licked down the indent between his hip and his leg and nuzzled the sensitive skin of his inner thigh.  
  
“Syd…” Vaughn hissed. At that moment, he craved her mouth _elsewhere_ , and had to squeeze the tabletop hard to keep from taking her head in his hands and _showing_ her where he wanted her attentions.  
  
Sydney looked up at Vaughn with a glint of amusement in her eye and a smirk playing about her lips. “Patience is a virtue, Vaughn…” she teased. Then she licked a line up the underside of his dick from the base all the way to the tip, and blew her hot breath along the wet line she’d created with her tongue.  
  
 _Dear Lord…_ Vaughn thought as his breath caught and then rushed out in a shudder. He could _swear_ that she was actually _enjoying_ torturing him like this…  
  
And then rational thought went right out the window the moment Sydney’s lips closed around the head of his cock.  
  
Vaughn’s eyes slammed shut, his head fell back and he leaned his weight more heavily on the table edge. A deep, heaving “Oh….ah!” tumbled out of his slack jaw followed by several other incoherent sounds. Unconsciously, his legs slid open a little bit wider to allow Sydney better access to him.  
  
Sydney alternately sucked and lapped at the tip and then ran her tongue around the rim of the head, but she did not take him any further into her mouth, a fact that was quickly frustrating Vaughn. Her mouth was pure bliss, but her attentions left him yearning for more… _much_ more.  
  
Sydney licked back down the underside of his erection again and then flicked at his balls with the tip of her tongue, sending instant jolts of electric heat shooting up his spine and tingling down his limbs. As Sydney continued to tease Vaughn, a fog of desire clouded his brain. Thinking was no longer an option. Feeling was all that mattered, all that was. Unaware that he was even speaking, he begged her for what he needed. “Please, Syd…oh please…Sydney…” His voice broke between each plea. One hand snaked out from behind him to sink into Sydney’s silky hair and apply just the gentlest pressure on the back of Sydney’s head in encouragement.  
  
Sydney immediately complied with his appeal, opening her mouth and taking his entire length in, letting the warmth of her seep into him. A harsh, guttural groan exploded from Vaughn’s lips. The hand he’d had tangled in Sydney’s hair slid down through her soft tresses to hand limply by his side. Sydney waited, keeping him fully enclosed in her mouth, letting him adjust to the sensation before she moved again.  
  
As Vaughn’s breathing and heart rate slowed a little, he opened his eyes again and stared at the sight of himself buried inside Sydney’s mouth. The sight both awed and aroused him. Some of her hair slid down from its resting spot behind her ear to cover her face; it tickled against his thigh. He reached down with his hand and softly brushed the errant lock of hair back up over her ear with a smile.  
  
Taking his touch as a cue, Sydney started slowly sliding him in and out, sucking and licking and teasing with her mouth as her hand skimmed over his thighs and balls. Vaughn struggled to keep his eyes open, to watch her as she seduced him, which only made the incredible sensation that much more erotic and exciting. As her tempo increased, Vaughn surrendered to the pulsing inferno coursing through his blood. He couldn’t control the constant litany of groans that came out of his mouth with every breath. Both his hands slid back to her head, his fingers gliding restlessly through her satiny hair again and again as her head bobbed in and out of reach.  
  
Finally, when he couldn’t keep his eyes open for one second longer, he flung his head back with a growl and arched his back toward her in a silent demand for release.  
  
But instead of complying, Sydney slowed her pace and started taking in only part of him. Frustrated and aroused, Vaughn twitched his hips at her again, mutely hinting, but she ignored his silent plea. Instead, she half-stroked him several times in a row and then suddenly forced her head down, sheathing all of him at once again. The shock of the difference in sensations elicited a harsh, primal groan and his head fell back again in rapture. Again and again she teased Vaughn this way, taking several slow half strokes before suddenly and without warning slamming down upon him, taking in his full length.  
  
This slow buildup stoked Vaughn’s arousal, forcing it higher and higher without a chance of release. He felt as if he were being battered in a storm, being swamped by taller and taller waves of desire, until he would eventually drown in them. The world, the room, the floor, the table, his own body all disappeared…leaving only the pulsing waves of excitement, pounding him relentlessly again and again.  
  
And then, out of the haze of overwhelming desire came an inspiration…an urge so strong that he had no ability to deny it. He wanted this release she was close to providing, he craved it _so_ badly…but suddenly it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough…because if he was going to tumble over the edge into the vast nothingness of ecstasy, he didn’t want to go over alone. He wanted _her_ to come with him.  
  
With strength of willpower Vaughn didn’t know he possessed, he pulled himself free of Sydney’s wonderful, incredible, so-good-it-should-be-illegal mouth. Sydney had barely gotten out a shocked, “Vaughn, wha…?” before he literally dragged her to her feet, put a hand on either side of her face and yanked her to him in a fiercely desperate, steamy kiss. One hand slithered into her hair to hold her captive, the other one slid down her back to her bottom, underneath her panty, pulling her into direct, intense contact with him.  
  
Finally, when it was necessary to take a breath, Vaughn pulled back, his green eyes dark with uncontrolled lust and need as they stared at each other.  
  
Panting, Sydney asked in wonder, “What is it? Vaughn, what do you want?”  
  
In response, Vaughn spun the two of them around, and Sydney suddenly found herself trapped between him and the table. He purposefully slid both his hands up her torso, covering her breasts and caressing her hardened nipples with his thumbs, eliciting an involuntary hiss of pleasure from her. Continuing to tease her breasts, he leaned forward to lick the sensitive spot just beneath her ear. Between the flick of his tongue and his thumbs rubbing her nipples, Sydney felt her knees starting to go weak. A tiny mewl of arousal escaped her parted lips.  
  
Finally, Vaughn found the words to answer her question, without pause in his erotic seduction. “What do I want?” his voice rumbled, its primal tone making Sydney shudder with anticipation. “I want more than just a release, Syd. I want more than just you pleasing me. What I _want_ …” he paused, allowing one of his hands to trail down her stomach to hover just over the apex of her thighs, “…is to please _you_.”

A wave of panic washed over Sydney even as the heady sensation of Vaughn’s thumb and forefinger on her nipple boiled the blood in her veins. And, oh God…she could actually _feel_ the heat radiating from his other hand, which continued to linger a hairsbreadth above her most sensitive area like the Sword of Damocles. As much as she wanted this, as much as she _craved_ his touch…that was how much fear the longing inspired.  
  
There was too much history—and an unfinished history, at that—between them for her to ever _think_ she could deal with this rationally. After everything, after all the pain and suffering their new situation caused her, she knew deep in her soul that she was still in love with Vaughn…and maybe always would be.  
  
That continued love for Vaughn was a secret she carefully hid away from everyone: her father, her friends, Vaughn, even herself. Most of the time, Sydney lived in a constant state of denial. She had yet to figure out a way to stop her breath from catching at the sight of this man; she didn’t know how to stop her pulse from racing at the sound of his voice. Simply put, she didn’t know how to stop loving him.  
  
However, it was that love she still held for him had been helping her through this truly bizarre and twisted ordeal. Even though she knew that sick bastard Frederich was most likely watching their progress with the utmost interest, at least she didn’t have to act to appear like she enjoyed her work. Indeed, pleasuring Vaughn was cathartic in a way; she could show him how much she loved him one last time, watch him respond to her like a lover, hear his moans of ecstasy, knowing she’d caused it, knowing she could still affect him in the deepest of ways. Sydney had thought that perhaps this mission could be her closure, the one thing she needed to help put her past with Vaughn behind her.  
  
But she should have known better. With Vaughn, this could never be _just_ a mission; it could never be _just_ sex. Vaughn had never been a selfish lover; he much preferred helping Sydney attain _her_ pleasure before allowing his own. It did not appear that time nor circumstances had changed this trait. She had pleased him; now he wanted to please her.  
  
But she knew she couldn’t do it…she couldn’t let him. Sydney’s control over the concealment of her love for Vaughn was a tenuous hold at best. If she allowed him to do this, if she allowed him to touch her in this uniquely private and loving way, she knew for a fact she’d never be able to hide her feelings from him, and she didn’t want to burden him. While their love was a part of her present, it was a part of _his_ past, and she didn’t want him to feel any more guilty than he already did about moving on without her.  
  
She’d tried so hard to do the right thing, to let Vaughn live the life he’d chose. She loved him enough to let him go, or so she tried to tell herself. But, deep down, Sydney was tired, saddened, and lonely. She feared that opening herself up to the true depth and scope of love she felt for Vaughn (which she would most surely do by giving herself to him) would negate all of that; that she would never be able to go back to accepting less than all of him again.  
  
It was this urgent need to keep her emotions under wraps that spurred her into action. Desperately trying to fight both the physical desire threatening to swamp her senses as well as the emotional desire of her own heart, Sydney joked nervously, “Now, now, Vaughn…it’s _my_ job to please _you_ …not the other way around…”  
  
In response, Vaughn laid his errant hand against her skin so that his fingers hovered mere millimeters from Sydney’s lace-covered lips. He leaned forward, allowing his erection to press against her inner thigh. Then he bent his head to her ear to nibble at her lobe leisurely, still rolling her very erect nipple between his fingers. “Is that so?” Vaughn replied, amusement lacing his otherwise husky voice.  
  
“Y…Yes,” Sydney stuttered, trying in vain not to notice how her clitoris had begun to throb in response to the perceived threat (or promise) of his touch.  
  
“Tell me something…” Vaughn asked almost idly as he brushed feather kisses along Sydney’s collarbone. Sydney leaned even more of her weight against the table in fear that her knees would give out altogether.  
  
“Ummhmmm?” was all that Sydney could muster in her current condition.  
  
“The truth of what we’re doing here is that I’ve paid you to do whatever it takes to please me, isn’t that right?” Vaughn asked while trailing a line of kisses along her bra line.  
  
Sydney’s breath hitched in her throat. His whisper-soft lips were inches away from her aching nipples; his fingers just a twitch away from stroking her. With all the concentration she could muster, Sydney replied, “Yes, that’s right. I’m here to please you…not the other way around.”  
  
Sydney felt Vaughn’s smile against her skin. “Well, perhaps you aren’t used to men with my tastes…but you see, there is _nothing_ I find more erotic, more stimulating, more _exciting_ …than a woman who knows how to enjoy her own body…” Vaughn stretched out his index finger and slowly stroked Sydney’s lips through the flimsy lacy G-string, trailing his finger from back to front, stopping tantalizingly close to Sydney’s clitoris but not touching it.  
  
Sydney gasped and a low moan rumbled from her. Her need to keep herself from falling under his spell, her need to deny his effect on her only ended up heightening her senses, making each kiss, each caress her own form of unique torment. And unlike her normal fare, _his_ was not a form of torture she could withstand for long.  
  
Vaughn, as if subconsciously realizing his advantage, continued his seduction, releasing her nipple and instead dipping a finger inside the edge of the lacy bra cup to tease her heated skin underneath. His lips trailing a wandering path back up to Sydney’s neck, he continued, “To me, watching and listening to a woman in the throes of passion and knowing I’ve caused it is the _ultimate_ turn on…”  
  
Once again, Vaughn let his index finger slide along one side of her lips, up and around her clitoral mound without touching her nub and back down the other side. Sydney could not control her reaction. Another deep, longing moan escaped Sydney’s mouth in response. Liquid heat began to pool just under the skin he touched.  
  
Meanwhile, Vaughn’s other fingers continued to burrow underneath the lace covering Sydney’s breast, finally reaching their target and brushing against the taut peak, eliciting another gasp. He raised his head, spearing Sydney’s gaze with his own. Sydney couldn’t remember ever seeing his eyes so green, so intent. “I want to hear you gasp,” Vaughn said, his voice full of unmitigated passion. “I want to hear you moan. I want to hear you beg for my touch, to revel in it. I want to taste every part of you. I want to hear you demand your release. I want you to command me to take you, to fill you completely again and again until we both explode. _That_ is my wish, Sydney…that _alone_ will please me.”  
  
The silence that followed Vaughn’s declaration was shattered by another shuddering gasp when Vaughn’s finger made another meandering trip around her lower lips. Sydney’s heart was pounding in her chest, the sound of her blood rushing filled her ears, and every nerve ending was attuned to Vaughn’s touch. She was teetering on the edge of her own control. She didn’t want to give in; she was afraid of what she might reveal, yet she already knew it was a losing battle.  
  
There was no way Sydney could deny Vaughn’s request, not now that he’d made it clear to Frederich that her arousal was what he desired. There was no graceful back step, no way to prevent the moment that would ultimately become her downfall. She had no choice; her fate was sealed.  
  
Sydney closed her eyes against the tears that stung the corners of her eyes. What utter torment it would be to feel his touch on her, pleasing her the way he did once upon a time, making her remember, making her fall in love with him all over again when these few fleeting moments were all they would ever have! Yet, a large part of her didn’t _want_ to fight; she _longed_ to have his hands, his mouth on her, to have his cock inside of her. She longed to become one with him again, their bodies and souls touching, entwining…  
  
Sydney felt Vaughn’s hot breath on her ear. In a low whisper that was only for her, Vaughn beseeched, “Trust me, Syd…let yourself go. I won’t hurt you; I promise.”  
  
Sydney wondered if Vaughn truly knew what not hurting her would mean, when she would forevermore crave his touch, his love. But, no longer able to deny him or herself, she nodded.  
  
The simultaneous tweak of her nipple and the fleeting brush of his finger on her clitoris through the lace that covered it immediately rewarded her. On a gasp, Sydney instinctively reached up and grabbed Vaughn by the shoulders, trying to steady herself on her watery knees.  
  
In response, Vaughn slid his hands to her waist and gently lifted her so that she sat on the edge of the table. Her feet, still clad in her red high heels, no longer touched the floor. Then he grasped each of her hands, placed a kiss in each palm, and then slowly placed them on the table behind her so that she was supporting herself in an upright position. Once Sydney was in position, Vaughn leaned back slightly to assess this view.  
  
Sydney’s legs were open, parted, allowing him to see her nether lips and the damp lace that clung to them. His eyes slid higher to peruse her breasts, which were, due to her position, now pointed slightly upward, their hard nipples silhouetted by the black lace cups. Because Vaughn had Sydney leaning backward slightly, resting her weight against her arms, she was effectively bound, unable to use her hands to stop whatever erotic offensive he was planning.  
  
Vaughn slid his eyes higher, watching the accelerated rise and fall of her chest, taking in the slender neck, lingering on her full, pouty lips and then to her eyes, so full of longing…eyes that practically _begged_ him to touch her…even though he knew it would take much more coaxing before she would _actually_ beg…  
  
Vaughn leaned forward, his erection sliding slowly up the inside of Sydney’s thigh, and suckled at Sydney’s bottom lip suggestively. He stared down into her eyes as Sydney struggled to keep hers open. She felt exposed to him, unprotected, and totally out of control; a very unfamiliar feeling to a woman who commanded and controlled even the most frantic and dangerous moments of her life. But in this case, she reveled in the sensation. She didn’t have to think, she only had to _feel_ , and already her desire was spiraling out of control…and she had a feeling that he’d only just begun.  
  
Vaughn’s eyes slid sensuously back to her breasts. “Hmm…” he said, rubbing his chin with his thumb as if in thought before shaking his head. “No, that will _never_ do…” Snaking a finger along her sensitive stomach, he drew an imaginary line between her breasts and then fingered at the black and red lace covering her right breast. Slowly, ever so slowly, he pulled the material downward, downward, allowing it to rub against her nipple as it passed over it, making Sydney suck in a quick breath. Finally, even the red lace edging had brushed past the erect nib and her breast sprung out of its enclosure. Vaughn held the weight of it in his palm and then used the other hand to push the material underneath, so that when he let go, the lace of the bra cup formed a tight shelf on which her bare breast sat.  
  
  
Vaughn repeated the procedure with her left breast, his movements just as slow, just as tantalizing. Soon both bare breasts had been released; the straining material supporting them pushed them upward and inward, giving Sydney even more cleavage than normal. Once finished, Vaughn leaned back and studied her again. With a seductive smile, he rumbled, “Mmmm…. _much_ better…”  
  
Sydney considered making a dry remark like, “Better for whom?” but before she could, Vaughn lowered his mouth to her breast, flicking at her nipple with his tongue before encircling it with his mouth. The moment his lips enclosed her, Sydney whimpered aloud. Inside the warmth of his mouth, his tongue circled her over and over again before rubbing straight across the hardened nib, causing a shudder of pleasure to run down Sydney’s spine.  
  
One of Vaughn’s hands slid slowly up Sydney’s bare torso and slid around her other breast, softly caressing its underside. Then, as he continued to suckle on other nipple, he caught this one between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it. The combined sensation caused Sydney to pant throatily, her head falling back on her neck, her eyes closed.  
  
Sydney’s fingers twitched with the urge to bury themselves in Vaughn’s hair, to pull his heavenly mouth even closer to her, but because she was holding herself up, she couldn’t. That frustration only fanned the flames of her desire even more.  
  
Finally, after what felt to Sydney like both a second and millennia, Vaughn lifted his head to witness the effect he was having on her. His other hand slid up and captured her now damp nipple, rubbing and rolling it between his fingers as well.  
  
At the touch of his other hand to her breast, a jolt of electricity shot straight from Sydney’s nipples to her clitoris. With every twitch of his fingers, an echo of the sensation throbbed between her legs as if he were touching her there, too. Sydney’s jaw went slack as she unconsciously thrust her breasts further into Vaughn’s hands and was rewarded by slightly harder and faster tweaks.  
  
Sydney’s every breath was a gasp or a sigh, with low moans sprinkled in between. She felt as if her blood were on fire, as if her bones had melted, leaving her immobile and helpless against the onslaught of pleasure. She had given up trying to watch Vaughn, stopped trying to force her eyes open. She just couldn’t; the sensations were too great. So she sat, her head hanging back, her mouth open, her breath in gasps as her body shook with desire.  
  
Vaughn could feel his own erection throbbing with need as he watched the evidence of Sydney’s pleasure. Her nipples were _so_ hard, her head was thrown back in abandon, her skin was flushed, and the scrap of lace between her legs was now so damp it was actually sticking to her. _God…_ Vaughn wasn’t sure if he could have possibly imagined a more erotic sight….except perhaps…  
  
Vaughn moved one of his hands from her nipple, brushing his knuckles softly around the rest of her breast and then down her sensitive, ticklish side, making her quiver. Then, as he reached her waist, he fingered the thin satin ribbon before giving it a tug. The knot holding the side of Sydney’s panties on gave way; the two pieces gaped open against her hip. Slowly, Vaughn drew a line across her stomach to the other side, releasing the satin bonds there as well. Sliding a finger between the material and Sydney’s waist, he pulled the lacy material forward, away from her, exposing her to him completely.  
  
What he saw behind the lace caused him to gasp: her lips were flushed and swollen with excitement; her clitoris was erect, and the light sprinkling of hair surrounding her opening wasn’t just damp, it was slick, her juices having finally escaped the folds of her lips holding it in.  
  
A sudden carnal urge swept through Vaughn, and he shook visibly as he fought to keep from giving in to it. He desperately wanted to bury himself inside her to the hilt, feeling her wetness envelop him, surround him. He wanted to feel her muscles tense around him, squeeze him with the force of her orgasm, pushing him to his own.  
  
Instead, Vaughn buried his face in Sydney’s neck, away from the tempting, luscious sight of her obvious arousal. Nipping at her ear, he whispered huskily, “Oh God, Syd…you’re so hot…so wet…”  
  
“Yessss….” She breathed, well beyond the ability to deny anything he was making her feel.  
  
With a hungry possessive groan, Vaughn said, “God, Syd…I wanna make you moan… I wanna make you hotter than you’ve ever been. I want to take you to heaven, Syd. I want us to go there together…”  
  
“Yessss….” Syd said again, pressing her chest upward against his, pressing her thighs against Vaughn’s pulsing erection making him groan, too.  
  
Vaughn pushed himself away from Sydney, since the feel of their bare skin touching was causing too much havoc with his libido. He wanted, no _needed_ to tease Sydney. He _wanted_ to her feel as incredibly turned on and out of control as he had felt moments ago.  
  
Sydney’s head lifted at the sudden loss of his teasing, torturous fingers. She opened her eyes to find Vaughn staring at her with such hunger, such longing, that it actually caused her clitoris to twitch with pleasure. “Ohhhhhh…” she breathed, “Oh, Vaughn…”  
  
Knowing Sydney’s eyes were locked on him, he met her eyes and then held her gaze as his finger slid along the slick skin of her perineum and then upward, dipping slightly between her swollen lips to moisten the tip. Then he traveled further north, making small circles around, but not yet touching the clitoris itself. Slowly, he spread the moisture on his finger, slicking the whole area with her wetness.  
  
Every place Vaughn’s magical finger touched on Sydney ignited, became her whole being. She panted and squirmed and moaned, but he continued to touch everywhere but the one place she most wanted him to.  
  
Finally, she grunted with frustration and begged, “ _Please_ , Vaughn…. Oh God, please…”  
  
That was all Vaughn had been waiting for. With a smile, he slid his finger up and along the entire length of her clitoris, watching with masculine satisfaction as Sydney shivered and let out a long hissing moan of gratification.  
  
There was no other contact between them except for his finger slowly traveling to and from her clit, but to Sydney, it was as if Vaughn were touching her everywhere at once; all her nerve endings were humming. When his finger would slide away from her nib, a chill of craving blanketed her; when his finger returned, a blaze of incredible heat encased her. Her eyes slid shut again.  
  
“Sydney…” Vaughn rasped, desire clouding his voice. “Sydney, look at me…”  
  
With almost superhuman effort, Sydney raised her head and looked into Vaughn’s eyes. They were blazing with want, with need, with desire. Her eyes drifted slowly downward, across his muscled chest, down his stomach, down to…and then she stopped, her eyes arrested on that spot.  
  
Even while Vaughn continued to stroke her with his finger, his other hand had reached down to cup himself, still rigid and throbbing. Once he knew she had seen him, Vaughn continued in that same gruff voice, “God, Syd…look what you do to me…” And then, with his finger still pleasuring Sydney and her eyes riveted upon him, he began to stroke himself.  
  
Sydney’s breath caught in her throat as she watched, hypnotized by her own passion, as Vaughn began to pleasure them both. This was something she couldn’t remember ever having done before…and it was incredibly sexy and erotic. The idea that he was pleasing her, and that the sight of her pleasure at his hand made him have to please _himself_ …Sydney shuddered deeply and saw Vaughn’s eyes darken dangerously in reply.  
  
Vaughn’s finger slowed, moving agonizingly slow around and across her clit as his other hand moved at the same deliberate pace on himself, allowing both of them to savor each luxurious stroke.  
  
Soon, their moans intermingled as Vaughn continued his erotic tandem tease. Speeding up the tempo slightly, Vaughn’s breath gave a hitch and then he let out a breathy moan. “Syd…you’re _so_ beautiful…so sexy…and hearing you, _seeing_ you respond to me…” Sydney gasped loudly as he concentrated his attentions solely on her clit for a moment before moving away once more. “Yeesss….” he hissed, “like that… It was making me so hot for you that I…” Vaughn swallowed hard and groaned, “…I just couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t help myself…”  
  
And then, Vaughn switched hands, dipping the new finger inside of Sydney briefly, coating it with moisture before sliding it upward, while his other hand, still coated with Sydney’s hot wetness, slid down over the head of his cock. He threw his head back with a guttural moan at the feel of his hand stroke.  
  
 _Oh my God…_ Sydney thought, watching the man she loved in the throes of passion, passion they were sharing in an intimate way. Her clit throbbed so much, both from the glow of his ministration and from the sight of his masturbation that her inner walls began to pulse with his every stroke. She wanted, with every fiber of her being, to be the one stroking him, to be the one directly giving him that pleasure. She started to push herself up to a higher sitting position, but Vaughn’s hand lifted from the apex of her thighs and pushed against her chest, keeping her in place.  
  
“No,” he gasped, “you stay there.”  
  
“But Vaughn,” Sydney panted, his name ending in a gasp as his finger grazed her clit yet again. “I want…I want to do it…”  
  
“No,” he repeated. “Not yet, Syd…not yet.” And then he slid his finger to her clit and pressed against it, sending a jolt of pure electricity through her. As he continued, she watched through slitted eyes as his finger teased her with increasing speed, matched only by his hand on his throbbing cock. She gasped and moaned, he groaned and grunted; both caught up in the rapture of his seduction. As much as she wanted to watch him caress her, watch him fondle himself, the sensations became just too much. His harsh groans echoed all around her as her breath came in gasps…her eyes slid closed…her head tilted back…rolling from shoulder to shoulder in restless ecstasy…  
  
In the midst of her passion-created stupor, she hadn’t noticed that Vaughn stopped stroking himself to bend down before her between her legs. His finger stopped swirling and fell away from her heated, moist skin. There was a pause; nothing was happening…and then she felt it: his hot breath melting across the junction of her thighs. She opened her eyes and looked down at him. He was already watching her, waiting. Their gazes caught, tangled…the molten look he gave her could have melted steel. And then he blew a deep hot breath against her skin, watching her shiver.  
  
 _Oh, God, Vaughn…no!_ Sydney thought desperately. She knew what he was going to do to her; he’d done _this_ before…she didn’t think she’d survive it this time, not when she was already so aroused…  
  
“No…” she whispered. “Please, no…”  
  
A slow Cheshire cat smile grew on Vaughn’s face. He knew what her protests were…and what they weren’t. It wasn’t that she didn’t want him to do it…it was that she wanted it too much. Sydney _hated_ to lose control; she was an admitted control freak. And even though she was already far past the point of being able to control her actions, she knew his tongue would put her out of her mind…which was exactly where he wanted her to be.  
  
“Yes,” he hissed against her thigh, licking it, making her moan and buck against him, her own body betraying her. He breathed against her skin again, making her clit throb in response. “You’ve got no choice, Syd. I’m going to make you lose control if it’s the last thing I do. I _want_ you to feel it; I _need_ you to feel it…that feeling of wanton abandon, of blindly following the call of your body…just like you did to me.”  
  
The tip of Vaughn’s tongue slid out and lapped at the side of her clit, making Syd buck and gasp against his lips. “Nooo…” she keened, not wanting to let go of that last thread of her sanity.  
  
“Oh, yes, Syd… you are goin’ down,” Vaughn promised just before he enclosed her clit with his lips licking it as he sucked softly.  
  
And for the first time in her life during the throes of passion, Sydney Bristow screamed.

Sydney’s arms abruptly gave out and she arched backward onto the table, her arms splaying out helplessly as her head thrashed back and forth against the worn black wood under her as the tidal wave of pleasure Vaughn had created swamped her. She completely forgot where she was, what they were doing, and _why_ they were doing it. All there was, all that existed was Vaughn’s swirling, teasing tongue and the soft sucking pressure from his lips.  
  
The next suck, the next swish of his tongue elicited another strangled scream of, “Vaughn!” closely followed by the breathy moan, “Ohhhhhh Goooooddddd……” Without even realizing she was doing it, Sydney’s hands slid downward to bury themselves in Vaughn’s hair, encouraging his attentions even as her mind futilely tried to resist.  
  
Meanwhile, Vaughn, encouraged by Sydney’s sudden lack of restraint, continued his slow tease, alternating between sucking licks to her clit and releasing it to circle around it with his tongue and blowing breaths of hot air across her mound.  
  
Vaughn continued to tease her in this way for several moments, listening to the keens of her moans as they intensified. If his previous intimate knowledge of Sydney held true, then she was on track for one hell of an orgasm, which she would have if _he_ had anything to say about it. But not yet…not before he sent her desire spinning hotter and higher and completely out of control.  
  
“So, tell me Sydney…” Vaughn teased in his most seductive voice, breathing across her mound before scraping his teeth ever-so-lightly across her clit, making her moan again, “Do you still want me to stop?” Before she could answer, Vaughn took her clit between his lips and pressed the tip of his tongue against it.  
  
The whimpering gasp that slid from between Sydney’s open lips was her only reply. She was beyond the capacity for speech.  
  
“Now, now…” Vaughn continued in a light, bantering tone, “you _must_ have an opinion on the matter…” He licked a slow wet line from her vagina back to her clit, encircling it before licking straight across it like it was an ice cream cone and she was his favorite flavor. “It _is_ your body, after all…”  
  
“Yessss…” Sydney hissed, snaking her fingers even deeper into his hair, pulling his head closer to her overheated skin.  
  
Vaughn’s pulse jumped and his erection throbbed from listening to the deep, primal sound of Sydney’s voice, as well as from the thrill of having this kind of power over her. He slid a finger slowly around the wet opening of her vagina as he continued to tease her clitoris. “Yes you want me to stop?” he teased, slipping the tip of his finger inside her for a second before removing it and circling her again. “Or yes you _don’t_ want me to stop?” he continued, slipping his fingertip in and out of her a couple of times in perfect time with the teasing of his tongue before stopping again.  
  
Sydney immediately groaned at the loss of his finger inside of her and thrust her hips in reaction. Vaughn slid his finger around the opening achingly slow, bathing her clit with his tongue with the same slow motion…and then stopped.  
  
“No!” Sydney immediately cried out in response. Clutching his hair tightly in her hands, she pulled him back toward her. His mouth was so close to her skin now, and his heated breaths scattered in quick intervals across her clit, but still he refused to touch her. Her clitoris throbbed with anticipation as his every breath stroked her, and her vagina walls clenched with longing. She tugged impatiently at his hair again, but all she felt was his lips turn upward in what she was sure must have been an evil smile.  
  
“Tell me what you want, Sydney…” Vaughn teased in a soft singsong voice. “I’m waiting…”  
  
“God, _please_ …” Sydney gasped, out of her mind with longing now. “Don’t stop. _Please_!?”  
  
Immediately she was rewarded by Vaughn’s lips encompassing her clit and his finger plunging deeply inside her as her muscles clenched tightly around it. After a moment, Vaughn began to slide his finger in and out, gently suckling her clit in time with his hand, causing Sydney to writhe beneath his touch in sweet torture.  
  
As another whimper escaped her lips, a shiver of pure pleasure shot through Vaughn, pouring through him to concentrate in his dick, making it hum and pulse. He couldn’t help but imagine his cock sliding in and out of her instead of his finger. Vaughn couldn’t control the sudden moan that rumbled against her nub at the thought.  
  
At her matching groan, he decided it was time to kick it up a notch. Curling it upward slightly, Vaughn pushed his finger into her deeply, pressing along the top of her vaginal wall until he found a slightly raised area that had a different texture. Once he was sure he’d found what he was looking for, he began to stroke it.  
  
As Vaughn’s lips stilled and pulled away from her, all that Sydney could feel was a strange pressure inside her that was almost uncomfortable in its intensity. “Vaughn…” she gasped, confused, “what…what are you…?”  
  
But she never got to finish that thought, because, as his finger continued to rub against that spot inside her, the sensation of pressure quickly ebbed…and then waves of sudden, unbridled arousal rippled away from his finger through her entire body like a shot, sucking a gasp of shock and desire from her lips.  
  
Never in her life had Sydney ever felt such a level of want, of need…so much that she didn’t think she could bear it another moment, but yet, each second the feeling grew exponentially, until she felt as if it she was so burning hot that she was actually losing her body and turning to vapor. She no longer had control of her heaving chest, her pounding heart, her twitching limbs, her throbbing clitoris, her clenching muscles.  
  
And then Vaughn added the warm, wet touch of his tongue to her clit, and Sydney screamed again…but this time, the scream was his name. “God, oh God…Vaughn! _Vaughn!_ ”  
  
Vaughn’s tipped his head back and stood to watch Sydney in the height of her passion, still caressing her G-spot with his finger. Beneath him, her body shivered and shook with the force of her reaction to him. Her juices gushed around his finger, dripping out of her as he continued to stroke. _God, she is so wet!_ Vaughn couldn’t believe how wet, how hot, how ready she was. He’d never seen her like this… _ever_ …but it was driving him wild with want just watching and listening to her. And the way she’d just said his name…. Vaughn shivered.  
  
Sliding a second finger inside of her, Vaughn ran his other hand up Sydney’s chest to tweak at her rock hard nipple once more. “Tell me…” he breathed, his voice hot and thick, “Tell me you want me inside you…stroking you…tell me you want me to make you come…”  
  
“Yes!” she screamed, the combination of both her G-spot and her nipple proving to be a near lethal combination. “Oh, God, yes Vaughn! _Please_! I want you inside me, Vaughn…now! Right now!”  
  
Vaughn couldn’t take any more. With a growl, he slid his fingers from inside her, placed a hand on either side of Sydney’s hips and, stepping forward, buried his throbbing, aching penis inside her.  
  
Their moans of satisfaction mingled with one another as they both were still, savoring the sensation of their coupling. And then, as Vaughn slid both his hands forward over Sydney’s torso to tease at her nipples, he began to slowly stroke.  
  
Sydney’s body arched upward toward his touch as she thrust her hips repeatedly, trying mindlessly to keep in time with Vaughn’s rhythm. God, she was on fire…but she wanted to touch him, to caress him, feel his skin burning beneath her fingertips, yet she had no voice, no words to express this. She was helpless against the buffeting waves of intense pleasure.  
  
But after a moment, it appeared she’d been granted her wish, for Vaughn slowed his movement and reached underneath her back, pulling her up, pressing her heaving chest against his own. “Syd…” Vaughn gasped in her ear, “I can’t do this…I can’t do this anymore…My knees are gonna give out any second… I need to sit down.”  
  
Sydney nodded her understanding into Vaughn’s shoulder, unable to do more than that.  
  
“Okay, then…” Vaughn panted, “wrap your legs around me…”  
  
With his help, Sydney wrapped her long legs around Vaughn’s waist, locking them at the ankles. Then he turned 90 degrees, supporting all of Sydney’s weight, and shuffled back two steps until the back of his calves hit the black wooden chair. Gratefully, Vaughn sank into the chair, Sydney straddling his lap, still intertwined at the hips. She felt him smile into her neck and she chuckled at the sheer joy she felt at being with him.  
  
Sydney planted a high-heel clad foot on either side of Vaughn and used her leverage to start pushing herself up and down over his erection with aching slowness. In response, Vaughn groaned, running both of his hands up her front and tweaking both nipples simultaneously as she rode him.  
  
Vaughn continued to stimulate Sydney’s nipples as he teased the sensitive spot on her neck with his tongue, his quick intakes and exhales of breath at her movements caressed her heated skin.  
  
As if both were following the same call, their coupling slowly became harder, faster…their groans and grunts buried against necks or inside mouths as their tongues dueled. Vaughn thrust upward frantically as Sydney rode him just as madly…both out of control and quickly reaching their peaks…much higher than either of them had ever been before.  
  
The only thought keeping Vaughn from coming was that he was _determined_ to make Sydney come first. Putting one arm around her back for support, Vaughn leaned her body back slightly, changing the angle of his thrust to press against the spot he’d found with his finger. Then he slid his other hand down between them and began to stroke her clitoris, slick with her own arousal. Vaughn stared greedily at Sydney as she gasped, her muscles shaking with withheld release, her eyelids heavy over eyes full of mindless pleasure. Vaugh leaned forward, nipped at her bottom lip and then gasped against her mouth, “Come for me, baby…I know you want it…come on…I’m giving it to you…take it…take it…”  
  
And then Sydney’s eyes closed, her head drooped back as her arms suddenly wrapped around Vaughn’s neck like a lifeline. She trembled, she shook…and then she screamed again, this time in primal triumph as her body rocked with urgent contractions, squeezing against and around his aching cock again and again.  
  
Vaughn could feel himself rapidly losing control, on the very brink of a mind shattering release. But yet, it wasn’t her body, convulsing and twitching in his arms or the feel of her involuntary pressure on his erection that did it. It wasn't listening to her moans, watching the expression on her face. No, it was Sydney collapsing against his chest, cradling her head against his shoulder in blissful exhaustion and whispering, “I love you, Vaughn…I love you so much!” that did it. That one simple, soul-honest confession inflamed his heart, shattered his soul…and pushed him over the edge into oblivion.

Vaughn buried his head into Sydney’s soft neck as her declaration of love set off an explosive chain reaction unlike anything he’d experienced before in his life. As insane as it sounded, he’d _swear_ on a stack of bibles that the ripples of his mind-blowing orgasm began not in his groin, but in his heart. God, after _everything_ …after everything he’d put her through, after everything he’d done—and not done—this wonderful, beautiful, incredible woman still loved him. The thought was more erotic, more arousing, more excruciatingly, painfully wonderful than any seduction; and provided a bigger high than any mere physical stimulation could have given him.  
  
As his body began to tremble with his own release, he slid both arms around Sydney’s back, drawing restless circles there with the pads of his fingers while he suckled wet kisses at the base of her neck. Now it felt as if it were _she_ who was supporting _his_ weight, for surely his boneless limbs could no longer hold him upright. Each pounding wave of pleasure engulfed him, pulling him deeper under its spell than the last. Vaughn’s breath caught as every muscle from head to toe quaked. Completely out of his mind with pleasure and release, Vaughn gasped against her soft skin as she lovingly threaded her fingers through his hair, pulling his head up for a lingering, smoldering kiss.  
  
Against her lips, Vaughn was helpless; he couldn’t stop himself from uttering the one thing that demanded its freedom from the deepest, darkest depth of his soul, “ _God_ , Syd…I love you, too…” As Vaughn reached toward the crest of his orgasm, each aftershock pulled the confession out of him again and again like a mantra, “I love you…I love you….I love you…” It rose in pitch and volume from a whisper to a hoarse groan to a feverish moan. And the waves of pleasure kept coming, breaking him over and over until he felt he would go mad from it. Flinging his head back, his eyes tightly shut, the peak sensations broad sided him, making him yell, “Oh, God… _Sydney!_ ” as he began to pour himself into her.  
  
Vaughn’s body quivered and shook with the force of his orgasm, his breath hitched in helpless exertion. Inside him, a wave of indescribable love and emotion peaked, the sheer depth of which he couldn’t help but _need_ to express to Sydney. Vaughn opened his eyes, wanting to convey everything without words, communicating in that way that only _they_ could. And so, Vaughn, his hips still thrusting, his penis still ejaculating, opened his eyes…and to his utter shock and horror, he found himself not staring into Sydney Bristow’s molten brown eyes but at a white stucco ceiling…the ceiling of his bedroom at his home in Los Angeles. Sydney’s name still rang in his ears; the strangled sound of his voice still echoed about the walls of the room.  
  
Still in the throes of his intense orgasm and helpless to fight against its power, Vaughn thrust his head back against his pillow and grabbed a fistful of sheet from either side of him, bucking his hips in time with the forceful pulsing of his penis. A deep, throaty moan exploded from his lips in tortured gratification.  
  
Vaughn’s head lolled to the side, almost afraid to look, but no one else was there; the other side of the bed lay empty and unused. Searing guilt poured into him even as his seed poured out. Here he was, lying in his marriage bed, brought to the point of release, the likes of which he’d never before experienced—the most mind-numbing, earth-shattering, soul-shaking orgasm of his life—caused by _dreaming_ of a woman who was not his wife.  
  
His dream of being with Sydney had given him the most incredible pleasure, touched his heart, branded his soul; it had been an experience of almost mythic proportions. And nothing that he’d ever experienced with Lauren…his _wife_ …could come anywhere close; nothing was even in the same ballpark.  
  
Finally, after what felt like years, the pleasure tremors subsided and, again he studied the unused side of the bed. He thanked God that Lauren wasn’t there, that she was on a trip for work, because he didn’t want to have to explain to her what the hell just happened to him, although, since he’d screamed Sydney’s name in the throes of passion, it was probably quite obvious.  
  
Vaughn rapidly blinked back the tears that were crowding the corners of his eyes. He wanted to blame the dream on his worry for Sydney’s safety; seeing that she was, at that moment, on that very dangerous assignment he dreamt of. He wanted to blame it on the fact that, between their squabbles and their globetrotting, his physical relationship with Lauren had definitely been lackluster of late. He wanted to blame it on anything except for what it was.  
  
He still loved Sydney; he was still _in love_ with Sydney…and even though he belonged to someone else, loved someone else, _married_ someone else…his feelings of love for her were not going away, they were intensifying. He realized that, after this, there was no way he could continue to deny it.  
  
Sighing deeply, Vaughn threw back the covers of the bed and hung his legs over the side, fighting off the fleeting feeling of lightheadedness; his body was drenched in sweat. Wearily, he rested his elbows on his knees and held his head in his hands. After Jack Bristow’s speech to him in the police van on their way to prison, Vaughn had tried, _really_ tried to brush Sydney off, to push her away…but his heart wasn’t in it. How could it be when all this time it belonged to her?  
  
Pushing himself up off the bed, he pulled off his boxer shorts, damp from semen and perspiration, and then proceeded to strip the sheets from the bed as well, his frustration making his movements clumsy and ungraceful. Finally, he clumped the sheets and his underwear into a ball, carried it down the hall naked and dumped them into the washing machine, poured in the detergent and started the washer. Then he bent down, opened the dryer door and removed a different set of sheets, carrying them back to his room to remake the bed.  
  
As Vaughn padded barefoot around the edges of the bed, pulling the fitted sheet over the mattress and tucking in the flat sheet at the bottom, he considered his situation once more.  
  
Sydney had been gone for two nail-biting days and two practically sleepless nights. Despite his best intentions to push Sydney—and his feelings for her—away, Vaughn couldn’t stop worrying about her, even when he finally drifted off into an uneasy sleep. But more disquieting…in those two nights, he’d had to change his sheets three times…and he was _not_ a man prone to wet dreams.  
  
Yet, three times he’d had the _exact_ same dream…identical down to the tiniest detail. Three times he’d awoken in the midst of an incredible orgasm, and each time it was more powerfully consuming than the last. Based on his most recent experience, he felt sure that his next installment of this dream might just kill him.  
  
Finished with straightening out the bed, he tossed the comforter into place and then crossed the room to replace his missing boxers with fresh, dry ones. Then he climbed beneath the fresh covers, lying down with his hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling again deep in troubled thought.  
  
He thought about the dream, his actions and thoughts in it, studied them in detail, turning them over and over in his mind. This was clearly not just a dream about sex, not just about lust. What his dream self had shared with Sydney was teasing, playful, soft, arousing…and loving. While the situation demanded their coupling, they had both gone _far_ beyond the call of duty in achieving the result.  
  
Vaughn thought again of Jack Bristow’s concern…about not wanting Sydney to become his mistress. He’d told Jack then that he had to be pretty cynical to think that of him, but was it possibly true? _Did_ he in fact want Sydney to play that role for him?  
  
The shook his head vehemently at the thought. No, that was _definitely_ not it. Their relationship was and always had been more spiritual than physical. That’s not to say their bond wasn’t passionate, because they had _that_ in spades. But, no matter how much he loved her, no matter how much she might love him, he loved her too much to degrade their relationship in that way.  
  
Still, Vaughn had little doubt that, if Jack could have been privy to this dream, it would have convinced him otherwise…not to mention that Jack would probably have had him killed for it.  
  
Behind his head, he began to spin his wedding band around on his finger. In his dream, it had not been what Sydney was doing to him, but what she had _said_ to him that caused him to ultimately lose control: her declaration of love for him. It was the one thing that he’d never heard from her before her death, but it was the only thing he’d wanted to hear, and something that that he’d once expected to hear every day for the rest of his life.  
  
But, more troubling than that…in his dream, he’d made a very vehement confession of his own. He’d told her in no uncertain terms that he loved her, too…and, in retrospect, he couldn’t deny that it had felt _right_ to do it… _all_ of it.  
  
Vaughn squeezed his eyes tightly shut. He had to stop doing this to himself; he had to stop torturing himself with what could never be. No matter _how_ it had felt, it wasn’t right anymore; it _couldn’t_ be right because he’d pledged himself to Lauren.  
  
For better or worse, on his wedding day, he’d promised to forsake all others and to love only her. While this period in his life could definitely be classified as ‘worse’, he was an honorable man. He would do the right thing and remain faithful to Lauren…even if it killed him.  
  
Vaughn shook his head sadly. The problem with that logic was that it might actually kill him. Every time he saw Sydney and had to walk away from her, he felt as if he _were_ dying inside.  
  
Usually his line of thinking ended here, with the reality of his vows and his determination to honor his promise to Lauren. But not tonight. For the first time, the strong but quiet voice of his heart spoke to him and he allowed himself to hear it. _But is this **really** the right thing?_ it asked, making him pause mid-breath.  
  
The simplicity of the question—and what it implied—stunned him. At first glance, it certainly _appeared_ that the right thing to was to try to remain true to his vows, to put his love of Sydney in the past and leave it where it belonged, but was it?  
  
He was undeniably still in love with Sydney. His heart ached for her; his soul craved her…and the love, the ache, the craving wasn’t something he could control. No matter how hard he’d tried to force the emotions away, to bury them, they stubbornly refused to budge. They’d been a constant in his life ever since his father’s watch died, since the day Sydney Bristow walked into his life.  
  
And he _knew_ , even when Sydney tried desperately to hide it, that she still felt the same way for him. Yet, she loved him so much that she was letting him go. She never _once_ tried to interfere in his marriage to Lauren. Instead she constantly went out of her way to accommodate Lauren, to understand her, to like her…even when she probably also hated her.  
  
But Jack was definitely right about one thing: Since she’d returned to find him married, as much as he hated to admit it, his presence in her life _did_ torture her. It tortured her every moment they were together, and probably much of the time they were not.  
  
All he wanted, all he’d _ever_ wanted to do was to take _away_ Sydney’s pain, to be her guardian angel, her protector, the one constant that she could count on no matter what. All he’d wanted to do was love her. But now, the one constant he provided was unending pain and sorrow and regret. And that thought—the thought that he was constantly causing her pain—tortured _him_.  
  
And what about Lauren? Sydney had always been the third person in their marriage, but before, she’d been only a specter, a ghost…and that was something Lauren had said she could handle. She knew that a part of Vaughn would always belong to the memory of Sydney Bristow; she had accepted that as part of who Vaughn was. But the rules changed when Sydney rose from the dead and landed square in the middle of their marriage.  
  
Where she once had a husband who loved her and was devoted to her; she now had a man who was torn up inside, constantly caught between new life and old. She was threatened by Sydney’s presence and had every right to be. Yet, because of Lauren’s love for him, she put aside her fears and accepted Sydney…and had even started to like her.  
  
But was it really fair to Lauren that she now had to vie for the attention of her own husband? She never voiced it, but there were times that the pain showed in her eyes. She knew, in that way that all women seemed to have, that he was still in love with Sydney. She’d asked him the question point-blank that night in the parking garage after her run in with Sark. Vaughn grinned ruefully as he belatedly realized that he’d never answered her question. But then he had taken off after Sydney the moment he realized she was in danger…he’d left _Lauren_ to protect _Sydney_ …so perhaps Lauren had gotten the answer to her question after all.  
  
The more he considered the situation and all those involved, the more he began to doubt his own course of action. Leaving himself out of the equation, he started thinking about what was the most fair for Lauren.  
  
How could it possibly be fair to Lauren to trap her in a marriage where she wasn’t—and would never be—first in his heart? Lauren was a beautiful, intelligent woman, lovingly open and sweet. Didn’t she deserve _better_ than to be second best? Wasn’t it hypocritical of him to insist upon keeping the promise of his marriage vow if he could not keep the promise of forsaking all others? What good was the lack of physical unfaithfulness when his emotions _constantly_ betrayed her?  
  
He couldn’t hide behind the emotional padding and protection of his wedding ring anymore; not when there were three hearts at stake. By insisting upon continuing his now sham of a marriage, he was only hurting them all…chaining them to an unending circle of pain.  
  
With a newfound determination, Vaughn decided that it was time for that chain to break. It was time for Spineless Vaughn to crawl back under his rock and for ‘Balls of Steel’ Vaughn to step up to the plate and start making those tough decisions: the ones that would free them all.  
  
The shrill ring of Vaughn’s cell phone broke into his swirling thoughts. Grabbing it off the bedside table, he answered, “This is Vaughn.”  
  
“Vaughn, sorry if I woke you,” came Marcus Dixon’s relieved voice.  
  
“No, it’s all right,” Vaughn replied, sitting up. “I was awake.”  
  
Vaughn could almost _see_ Dixon nodding. “I’ve just received some disturbing intel regarding the Munich operation,” he continued gravely.  
  
Vaughn’s heart leapt into his throat, the air of foreboding making it hard to breathe. “What?” he asked breathlessly, “What is it?”  
  
“It’s Frederich,” replied Dixon, his voice grave. “It seems that Frederich has a very violent temper, and that he takes out that aggression by abusing his dancers… _especially_ the new ones…”  
  
The moment this news registered, a burst of adrenaline shot through Vaughn’s system. Without even realizing he was doing it, he’d already thrown off the covers, gotten up from the bed, crossed the room, pulled out his travel bag and had begun to pack. “What _kind_ of abuse!?” Vaughn demanded, panicked.  
  
“Vaughn? Trust me when I tell you that you _don’t_ want to know…” Dixon countered. “But by the time he’s finished, a number of them end up dead.”  
  
Vaughn wedged the phone between his ear and his shoulder to blindly pull a pair of pants, a shirt, underwear and socks from his dresser and turned to dump them into his suitcase. “Oh, sh*t!” Vaughn swore. “Does Sydney know? Is there any way to contact her?”  
  
“No. She’s already made her last transmission before commencement. There’s no way to warn her.”  
  
Vaughn hastily grabbed the dress slacks he’d dumped on the floor earlier this evening, slipping both legs into them and fastening them with lightning speed. Vehemently, Vaughn insisted, “I’m going in after her.”  
  
Vaughn could have sworn there was almost a smile in Dixon’s voice. “That _was_ why I was calling… I was hoping to persuade you to go in as her backup.”  
  
Vaughn had already slid a shirt up over his shoulders and was buttoning it up. “How soon do I leave?”  
  
“Two hours,” Dixon replied. “I’ll need to see you as soon as you can get here to go over mission specs and tech ops.”  
  
“I’m on it,” Vaughn answered. “I’ll see you in thirty.”  
  
Vaughn hung up the phone and tossed it onto the bed next to his suitcase. As his left hand reached for the zipper on his bag, the glint of light that glimmered from his gold band stopped him. He let out a long sigh, lifted his hand and pulled the ring off his finger, setting it on the bedside table.  
  
Normally he removed his ring before a mission, but he’d always taken it with him, stored it where he was so that he could wear it again as soon as the operation was over. But not this time. In good conscience, he could no longer wear that ring when he knew he could no longer keep those promises.  
  
Letting go wouldn’t be easy. He did love Lauren, after all, but he also wanted her to be happy, and he now realized he no longer had the ability to give her that happiness. And if he couldn’t make her happy, then he wanted her to find happiness with someone else.  
  
In the short term, Vaughn realized the breakup would be hellish, even though he thoroughly believed that Lauren would understand his reasons, and probably even agree with them. Telling Lauren the full truth would mean hurting her…a lot. It would mean the death of a dream: the dream of their future together, and that would be hard to take. And while he doubted that Lauren would blame Sydney for the collapse of their marriage, it would certainly make their working together much more uncomfortable.  
  
There wasn’t even any guarantee that his future would involve Sydney. Would Sydney want him back? Perhaps he’d hurt her so badly by his betrayal of what they had that she couldn’t accept him into her heart again?  
  
Vaughn rubbed his forehead with a thumb and forefinger, trying to massage away the tension building behind his eyes. His path was clear now; he knew what he had to do. But that didn’t make the doing it any easier. He closed his eyes and gathered his strength. He could do this; he _had_ to.  
  
Opening his eyes and staring at his abandoned gold band on the bedside table, Vaughn experienced a shiver of déjà vu. He’d just realized that his call from Dixon, the intel he’d received, was _exactly_ the same as his dream. Was at all possible that the dream he kept having was not just a dream…but a premonition?  
  
Vaughn considered that possibility for a few breath-catching seconds before he pushed the thought aside with a shake of his head. He was being silly. His dream had simply been his subconscious trying to force him to face the reality that he still loved Sydney; that was all. With a smile, he reached down again and started to zip his bag. Glancing down, the contents of the bag he’d packed made his mouth gape open. His hands stilled.  
  
Without even realizing it, without even paying attention, he’d packed the same exact outfit he’d worn in his dream: the same black jeans, the black button down shirt, the same blue boxers.  
  
Vaughn felt awed, as if for one moment the universe had just opened up and shown him one of its secrets. It felt that by noticing in advance what he’d packed, he was being given a choice: Did he leave things as they were and open up the possibility that his dream was actually real? Or did he remove the items and replace them with others, thereby negating the possibility of a repeat?  
  
Such a simple choice…and the hardest one he’d ever made. Was this truly destiny showing him the way? Or was he simply seeing magic where it wasn’t? He shoved his hands in his pockets, his left hand coming in contact with an object: his father’s watch.  
  
Closing his fingers around it, he closed his eyes, thinking to himself, _Dad…what should I do? How do I know if I’m doing the right thing? You were always so practical, so smart. Do I dare believe in miracles?_  
  
Vaughn didn’t truly expect a reply…which is perhaps why he got one: the memory popped before his eyes as if watching a movie.  
  
 _“Son?” his father had said, sitting him on his knee on a sultry summer’s evening. They sat on the edge of their front porch, staring up at the stars.  
  
“Yeah, Dad?” he’d replied, boy like wonder filling his voice as he continued to stare upward at the stars, impossibly high and bright over his head.  
  
“I want to give you something.”  
  
As Vaughn lowered his head from the sky to stare at his father, the elder man reached around Vaughn’s body in almost a hug, unlatching the hook on his wristwatch. Then he took Vaughn’s hand and pressed the watch into it. Vaughn looked up at him then, surprise and awe. “But, Dad!” Vaughn had protested, starting to hand the watch back again. “This is your best watch! The one you got from Grampa…”  
  
“Yes, it is,” the elder Vaughn replied tenderly, wrapping his larger hand over his son’s closing the little fingers around it. “And now I’m giving it to you.”  
  
“But…why?” Vaughn asked his father, questions blossoming upon his face.  
  
“I can see your questions, Michael…” his father replied quietly. ‘Why is he doing this? Why is he giving me this now?’ I’m sure you’re thinking that perhaps I’d want to do this when you are a bit older, or perhaps I’d like to keep it for a bit longer, since it means so much to me?”  
  
Vaughn nodded, still watching his father, studying his face as he spoke.  
  
His father pulled him closer, into a comfortable embrace. “We Vaughns are a funny bunch,” he said, a smile in his voice. “So smart at times, so stubborn at others.”  
  
“That’s what Mom always says…” Vaughn supplied helpfully.  
  
With that news Bill Vaughn let out a gleeful laugh. “Yes, I’m sure she does…” he chuckled, giving his son a delighted squeeze. Once his laughter subsided, he continued in a more serious tone. “But, Michael…I’m not sure why, but I have a feeling that, even thought you’re young, you’ll understand what I’m about to say. I’ve long since learned that, when I have a hunch, I should go with it…”  
  
He settled Vaughn against his side and began, “I want to tell you a story. Many years ago, when your Grampa gave me this watch, he jokingly told me that it ran so well that I could set my heart by it. Little did I know how true that would turn out to be.”  
  
“Grampa was right about the watch. It kept perfect time. And let me tell you, I didn’t baby it, either. I did stuff that would have killed lesser watches, but, oh no, not this one. The watch and I had been through hell and back more than once, trust me. But then, one day I was walking in the park, talking with a few of my friends, and I walked right into somebody else, knocking them over. I hadn’t been watching where I was going, you see.”  
  
“So I looked down, and the person turned out to be this wonderfully beautiful girl. She’d been carrying a load of schoolbooks and hadn’t seen me any more than I had seen her. My other friends laughed and kept walking, but I stopped to help her pick them up. The girl and I kidded about our clumsiness and exchanged names. She had such a pretty smile…”  
  
“Anyway, after I’d gotten her back on her way, I caught up to my friends down the street. I looked down at my watch to check the time…and what do you suppose had happened, Michael?”  
  
Vaughn shrugged. “I dunno…what?”  
  
“The watch had stopped.”  
  
“Really!?”  
  
“Really,” Bill Vaughn smiled. “All those terrible things I had done to that watch…and it died after just running into someone on the street. I had it fixed, of course, and never had a problem with it again. But, Michael, it took me years to realize… It appears, whether he knew it or not, your Grampa’s comment to me held a double meaning. You see, the girl? That woman I ran into? That was your mother.”  
  
Vaughn’s eyes widened at the news, but he was still confused. “I don’t get it, Dad…what does the watch have to do with Mom?”  
  
Bill Vaughn planted a kiss in his son’s hair and gave him a little squeeze. “Because Michael…the watch stopped **the moment** I met your mother. And in the twenty plus years I’ve owned it, that was the only time. Grampa was right; I **could** set my heart by that watch; it stopped the moment I met the woman I was meant to be with.”  
  
Vaughn looked down and opened his hand, staring at the warm weight of the watch in his palm. “Is your watch magic, Dad?”  
  
Bill Vaughn laughed again, a good-natured amused laugh. “Well, now…I suppose it just might be.”  
  
“I have to leave for another business trip in the morning,” his father continued, his voice full of regret now.  
  
“Again!?” Vaughn whined. “Daddy, just once…can you not go?”  
  
Bill Vaughn sighed, a long sigh that ruffled Vaughn’s hair. “Trust me, son…you don’t know how much I wish I could this time…but I can’t. I have an important job, you know. People depend on me to protect them.”  
  
“I know,” Vaughn replied, his voice small, his eyes downcast.  
  
His father seemed to hesitate for a moment before he said, “I want you to know something else. There may come a time, Mike, that I won’t always be here for you. I wish I could be, but the reality is that that may not be in the cards for us. I hope I’m wrong, son… I hope that we have many, many wonderful years together…But just in case…” his father paused, and then said, “I want you to know…that I love you…very much…And if you ever miss me, just look at that watch, and know…I still love you.”  
  
Vaughn sniffled, wiping his nose on his sleeve, not wanting his father to see his tears.  
  
But Bill Vaughn was too intuitive; he knew. He pulled his son into his arms, patted his back until he’d stopped crying. “Shh, it’s all right. I shouldn’t have said it; I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you. Shhh…”  
  
After Vaughn stopped his tears, his father tilted his chin up so that their eyes met.  
  
“So now, back to my ‘magic watch’…” He smiled again. “I’m going to tell you the same thing Grampa told me: You can set your heart by this watch, Michael. Even if you don’t fully understand me tonight, trust me…someday you will.”  
  
Bill Vaughn met his son’s eyes and they stared at each other. Even at his young age, Vaughn knew that something profound had just happened between them. Then his father looked back up at the stars. Vaughn, following suit, did too. _  
  
That was three days before his father had died…and the last time he saw him, the last time they’d spoken.  
  
Tears rolled down Vaughn’s cheeks unnoticed; a wistful smile touched the corner of his mouth. There was no question in his mind that his father had premonitions—the Vaughn ‘sixth sense’ they all seemed to possess—and even had one forecasting his own death. It was the only reason that made sense as to why his father would have chosen that night, that moment to pass along his ‘magic watch’.  
  
He’d followed his father’s advice; he’d set his heart by that watch…and the watch had spoken. It now lay stopped in his pocket, having died four years ago, October 1st…the moment he’d met Sydney.  
  
Wiping away his tears, he smiled, looked toward the heavens and whispered, “Thanks, Dad…” Letting out a sigh, he bent down, and zipped up his suitcase. With a final glance at the golden ring on this bedside table—at the life soon to be his past—he turned and walked out the door.


End file.
